Fortress of Attitude

Just taking the time that being ill has given me to type up and post this little diatribe. Amazing what a "little" extra mucus will do to your outlook...


Q’s RE: Sexy Back

I know I shouldn’t… I really shouldn’t… but I can’t help it. “They” have been playing the song too often and now people are using it as a quick quip/quote.

OK. Justin Timberlake is bringing sexy back. Justin is bringing it back. Tends to imply that he took it away in the first place, doesn’t it? I’m not saying he flat out said he took it. It wouldn’t stand up in a court of law. But still…

If he took it, when and why? When Brittany flit(-head)-ed out of his life? Interesting that he brought it back after he started seeing Charlize Theron, isn‘t it? If that was the case, I think we’d all understand and he really ought to fess up. But if he didn’t, who did?

Who took the sexy? And how did Justin get his hands on it? I mean… There just seems to be something missing to the story. What isn’t Justin telling us? Why didn’t anyone bother to tell us the sexy was gone? Nothing. Not one word in the press: CNN, ABC, FOX, Drudge, not even Google News….

Some kind of warning would have been nice. We all could have kept an eye open and then Justin and Timbaland wouldn’t have had to bear all the pressure of bringing the sexy back. Justin’s album might have been finished months earlier. Missy Elliot might have gotten another one out. Hell, we may have finally heard a solo album from Timbaland. But no… they had to go all QT and need to know...

There should have been some sort of alert; probably some sort of number or letter alert. Hurricanes get names, missing kids have the Amber Alert system, terrorism is all color-coordinated….

Was it al Quida? Did Osama take the sexy? (Lord knows he could use all the help he can get; mountain goats are notoriously picky.)

And was Justin the right man for the job? I’m not an expert, but I understand he’s a sexy young man, but professionally he’s an entertainer. Wouldn’t a strike team made up of Queer Eye, What Not to Wear, Dr. 90210, Blow Out and Miami Ink have been better? Then again, that may be overkill.

The most important question that this raises, however, is did we really need the sexy back all that badly if we didn’t even notice it was gone in the first place? Maybe we can get along with just a little sexy. After all, isn’t down-sizing, conservation, doing-more-with-less all the rage?

We could… we could have passed the hat, have a fund-raiser. “If you have any sexy laying about…”. Just talk to people, y’know? Ask Antonio Banderas for some spare sexy. He is too much the sexy. According to Horatio Sanz, and Horatio is the arbiter of all things sexy, after all…

So thanks, Justin. Thanks soooo much. I’ve got this song stuck in my head and it won’t go away.

Damn you, Justin Timberlake. Damn you and the groove you rode in on.